Animal I have Become
by Bringer of the Tide
Summary: O'malley is dead and gone with the memories of Tex's past. Right...?


_**I can't escape this hell So many times I've tried But I'm still caged inside.  
Somebody get me through this nightmare,  
I can't control myself....**_

**Omega is gone.  
Dead. Dead for good.  
O'malley is gone.**

Most nights, she slept well. Peaceful and sound, feeling safe next to him. She hadn't had an episode in almost a year. It had taken multiple tries, but it had worked. She got rid of him. He was gone, gone for good.

**Omega was gone.**

She was a tough girl. She had to be, she was a freelancer. Freelancers could take care of themselves, and she was no exception. She could take care of herself, that was what she told him. She said he wouldn't have to worry about her, that she would be safe virtually anywhere. He trusted her word, because she was a freelancer. Yes, she was tough, but she was also small, even somewhat small for a woman. Never though did he underestimate her capability because of her height. Perhaps, in fact, he had overestimated her a bit. She promised him that he wouldn't have to worry, threatened him into believing it. He believed her, so she hid the nightmares from him.

Alison awoke in a cold sweat, rigid and frightened. Had she screamed and woken him? She looked over quickly, breathing a bit easier. He was still asleep, chest rising and falling slowly. Turning back over, she sighed softly. Not trusting herself to return to peaceful sleep, she got up and crept out of the room, locking herself in the bathroom to spend the rest of the night there.

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
no one will ever change this animal I have become.  
Help me believe It's not the real me Somebody help me tame this animal..._

She unlocked the door and peered out. The sun was just rising, sending brilliant orange, pink, and yellow light streaming through the living room window. Light spilled into the hallway interest, giving her a dim awareness of her surroundings. Slipping quietly into the hall, she closed the door softly behind her, careful not to wake him. A quick glance around revealed nothing out of the ordinary, so she crept softly toward the bedroom. She stopped suddenly, staring directly at a wall of black.  
'why is he already up and dressed?' she wondered, eyes slowly traveling up his chest to his face. He stared down through silver rimmed glasses, green eyes holding a mildly surprised look to them.  
"Have you been awake since you snuck off last night?" he asked. She looked away for a fraction of a second, then her gaze flickered back to him.  
"I couldn't sleep." Not the whole truth.  
But it wasn't a lie. He stood there a moment, mulling thoughtfully over this, then quirked a brow.  
"Why?" She paused.  
"Just restless I guess." she answered finally. He seemed to accept this answer.  
"Okay..." Moving to walk past her, he placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, smiling gently. She gave a weak smile back, feeling guilty...

_**I can't escape myself**_

_** So many times i've lied **_

_**But there's still rage inside **_

_**Somebody get me through this nightmare I can't control myself...**_

She woke with a start again from the same dream she had had a week ago. Somewhat frightened and trembling, she pressed against the headboard, looking over at him. She had managed to get lucky again, he was still asleep. Alison stared at him, watching him. He slept so easily, and without interruption. There was nothing to haunt his dreams, nothing to keep him awake at night. No voices in his head, no bad memories to invade his thoughts. There was no face inside, no one else living in his head.

**Kill him.**

Alison started, looking around rapidly for who had spoken. There was no one.

_The voice was in her head._

She closed her eyes tight, breathing slowly.

_Omega is gone.  
Omega is dead._

Repeating this to herself rapidly a number of times, she managed to calm down. Until she heard it again, this time more insistant.

**KILL HIM.**

Swallowing hard, she breathed deeply a few times to keep calm.

"You're dead." she said softly to the haunting voice in her head. A low, rumbling laugh caused the room to chill.

**I'm always here.**

She shook her head vigorously.

"I killed you." she hissed angrily, reaching for the pistol in her nightstand.

**You can't kill me.**

"Hell I can...and I did..." she said as quetly as she could so as not to wake him. She stared down at him again, eyes not leaving his face. He looked so calm, so at peace.  
He would never know.

**Pull the trigger, Alison.**

She looked down, turning cold. Without realizing it, she had turned the gun on him.

**Do it.**

"...No."

**DO IT.**

"I won't."

**DO IT!**

"NO!!!"

He awoke with a start, turning quickly to face her, ending up in a half sitting, twisted position.  
"...Shit!" he cursed, drawing backwards. He ended up falling off the bed to his knees, hands raised.  
"Put the gun down, Alison..." he said, reaching one hand over to the nightstand to retrieve his glasses. She had followed his movements with the gun, and the barrel was still pointed at him, her finger on the trigger. He adjusted his glasses, raising his now free left hand to join his right in a sign of surrender.

"Put it down..." he repeated, staring her dead in the eye.

**Shoot him. Do it.**

She shook her head, closing her eyes.  
"No." she said through clenched teeth. Mistaking the remark as directed at him, Simmons raised his hands further.  
"God, Alison, put it down!"

**DO IT!**  
Her finger tightened on the trigger.

"Don't!"

_**BANG.**_

She opened her eyes, the gun smoking in front of her, the sound of shattering glass ringing in her ears.  
"Oh....oh my god..."

Simmons had lunged at her, twisting her wrist and angling the shot. The bullet had gone through a window, the glass glittering in the moonlight on the carpet. Alison trembled, letting the pistol fall from her hand. Simmons closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. Alison buried her face in her hands, trembling. He pulled her against him, wrapping her in a protective embrace.

"It's okay." he said, stroking her hair gently.  
"It's okay. O'malley is gone..."

**_Help me believe it's not the real me _**

**_Somebody help me tame this animal I have become..._**


End file.
